H. Michael Bastien Walks the Talk

Whether demystifying the world of online dating or connecting the dots between two political icons, H. Michael Bastien writes with insight into how people act and react to each other in his book The Common Sense Clicker: Guide to Online Dating. Bastien’s background in psychology and information systems finds a niche in the electronic dating scene. In his latest release, Yes We Can: Obama and Clinton Walk the Talk (How Communication and Performance Win Elections), this insight is brought to bear on the political communications strengths of both Presidents Obama and Clinton. When not writing, Bastien consults with Internet companies to help them build better websites. He’s advised in the development of several online dating sites, and he was active in President Obama’s first presidential campaign.

ARROW: If you were writing your own online dating profile, what would it say?

HMB: I was born in Canada and I’m told I first learned to read and count in French. My family moved to the U.S. when I was child and I attended high school, college and graduate school in the Washington, D.C. area. I consider myself happily single, but open to a relationship. I’m at the point in my life when I’m ready to jump back into online dating myself. I’m a writer and Internet development consultant. My interests include music, astronomy, tennis and politics. I also enjoy photography and cooking. My favorite European country is Spain. I’d have to say Jamaica is my favorite Caribbean island. I love visiting Seattle with its seafood cuisine.

ARROW: Tell us what in your background prompted you to write these books.

HMB: I have an undergraduate degree in psychology and a masters in information systems. Both subjects came in handy when I wrote The Common Sense Clicker: Guide to Online Dating, my first published work. Since then I also co-authored Yes We Can: Obama and Clinton Walk the Talk with my father and stepmother, both political scientists.

ARROW: Let’s start with The Common Sense Clicker: Guide to Online Dating. What makes your book different from other books out there on the subject?

HMB: My book looks at other aspects important to successful online dating that I didn’t think were adequately covered in the other books I’ve read. For example, my book helps guide people in developing a common etiquette for online dating. There need to be common ways of interacting when dating online to avoid confusion and misunderstandings. If you don’t know the rules, you can wreck a great thing before it starts or not catch on to something wonderful.

ARROW: Do men or women have it easier when it comes to online dating?

HMB: No gender has a monopoly on hard luck or good luck when it comes to online dating. Men and women have different issues but need to remember that we are all in this together.

ARROW: What are some of the biggest mistakes men make when dating online?

HMB: Often men try to customize themselves and their online profiles to be what they think women want. What you need to do instead is be honest about what you like, what you look like and what you are looking for in a potential mate. When you aren’t honest about yourself and what you want in a relationship, you find that after one or two weeks into a relationship you and the other person are not a good match.

ARROW: What are some of the biggest mistakes women make when dating online?

HMB: The biggest mistake women make is not uploading complete and accurate pictures of what they look like. Dating begins with physical attraction. Never assume that your full body is not attractive. Upload the real you and let nature take its course.

ARROW: What can people do to date safely online?

HMB: When making your first online contact, there really is a progression for sharing information. Start with your name and real email address, but I advise never ask for a phone number or give your phone number in the first couple of emails. When it comes to the first date and your first face-to-face contact, meet in a public place and never share personal information like your home or work addresses. If you visit my website www.TheCommonSenseClicker.com you can read some of my other recommendations under Dating Tips.

ARROW: Earlier this month many people experienced Valentine’s Day alone. Can you offer some suggestions to someone hoping to be in a happy, healthy relationship by next Valentine’s Day?

HMB: Treat dating like the serious endeavor it is. Get online, fill out your dating profile...FULLY and upload a lot of pictures of yourself. Of course, read The Common Sense Clicker and put those guidelines into practice. Devote the same amount of time to online dating as you do to your friends. Rely more on your personal tastes and desires and give less emphasis to what friends or others may think.

ARROW: How about suggestions for those just hoping to be happily and healthily dating this time next year?

HMB: Be open to meeting new types of people when dating online. Spend more time searching online than you do at a bar or nightclub. Minute for minute, dating online is a much better use of your time than getting drunk at a bar.

ARROW: If you have one message that readers can take away from your guide to online dating, what would it be?

HMB: Be yourself...that means showing the full, real you in pictures and in profile descriptions.

ARROW: You are also the co-author of Yes We Can: Obama and Clinton
Walk the Talk (How Communication and Performance Win Elections). Tell us a little about this book.

HMB: I’ve always been interested in politics. Obama and Clinton are two men that I admire. Interestingly enough, they have quite a few similarities...more than many people think. Whether you are a Republican, Democrat or independent, presidential history is important to us all. Understanding the people who rule our country is an essential part of fulfilling our duty as citizens of a democracy.

The Common Sense Clicker: Guide to Online Dating is available from Amazon’s Kindle Store, OmniLit, Barnes and Noble’s NOOK Store, MyRomanceStory.com and the iBookstore. Also available in paperback from Amazon.com.

Yes We Can: Obama and Clinton Walk the Talk (How Communication and Performance Win Elections) is available from Amazon’s Kindle Store and will be available soon from the iBookstore.

Listen to Bastien discuss The Common Sense Clicker: Guide to Online Dating at www.TheCommonSenseClicker.com.

It’s Not Too Late to Celebrate Creative Romance Month

We hate to spring it on you when the month is nearly over, but February is Creative Romance Month. The rules for this love-inspired celebration are as simple as they sound—find creative ways to put a little romance into your life. For advice on creating a romantic night—or day—for two, we turn to relationship expert Dr. Charmaine Saunders.

A Journey into Romance
By Dr. Charmaine Saunders
Special to MyRomanceStory.com

When I speak of romance, I don't mean the literal kind, involving candlelit dinners, sexy night attire and slow dancing, although it certainly can entail all of the above. Romance is an attitude, a mood, a feeling, so let's start our journey there.

Create a Mood
A romantic mood can be created by combining various components, but the key ones are music, setting and feeling.

Music:
The best music for romance is neutral and unobtrusive. It should not dominate or be very specific. At the end of the evening, it might be better if you can't remember what record was playing! Soothing, pleasant and anonymous—they're the key elements. Music has the power to whisk us away like no other art form really can, and it is tremendously relaxing, so what better way to create the right mood?

Setting:
The setting for romance is vitally important. The more luxurious and comfortable the physical setting, the more lovers relax. A soft bed or couch, satiny covers and huge, fluffy cushions are the order of the day.

Be aware of colors. Some are more soothing than others, like blue, and some are more passionate, like red. Design a setting that expresses what you want for the evening. Burn incense or spray an expensive perfume around, surround the room with flowers in fancy arrangements or just sprinkle rose petals on the bed, leave some small gifts for your partner in hidden places. Just make the whole experience an adventure. It's not what you do that's important or how much it costs, but the caring that goes into the preparation.

Feelings:
Finally and most importantly, feelings. First there are the feelings that you bring into the room. You may be a longtime married couple, newlyweds or practically strangers, so those feelings will vary, but there will also be new feelings created during the evening and those are the ones you can enhance and expand on. You know how gentleness is a vital factor. Romance cannot be hurried. Everything that happens during the time spent together needs to unfold at its own pace, so don't force anything. Enjoy every minute of the journey.

What’s next?

Food:
Keep in mind that romance and sexuality need to appeal to the senses, so let that be your overall theme for the evening (or afternoon!). My feeling about the food for a romantic interlude is that it should be less, luscious and luxurious. Offer lots of little expensive nibbles like fruit, chocolates, strawberries, oysters and asparagus, or a cheese platter. The whole point is that the experience should be special and it won’t be if you serve the things you normally would. A romantic candlelit dinner is fine for an anniversary or other restaurant celebration, but in your own living room, why not feed each other off a large platter whilst reclining on a chaise or sofa?

So, we have created the mood, nice, soft music is playing and we have heightened our senses with succulent morsels—it would be hard not to be relaxed by now. If the lovers are in love and feel very confident in their lovemaking, that could be the next phase, followed by more foreplay activities, if desired, but what of those couples who need more preparation?

Massage:
Two things are highly recommended—massage and aromatherapy. They work in very well together, as aromatherapy is literally therapy via the sense of smell. This is achieved by applying a range of essential oils to various parts of the body. The oils of lavender, sandalwood and rosemary are particularly effective for massage.

Alcohol:
As with food, less is more. You don’t want to fall asleep or have your man unable to perform! Offer nice wines or stick to champagne. Beer is too ordinary and filling, spirits too potent. You should be intoxicating each other rather than letting the alcohol do all the work. Keep your everyday glasses in the cupboard—only the crystal is good enough for you today, even if you have to borrow some! Watch out for any jarring in the color schemes, table settings, clothing, bedding, everything, as it’s details that will count for the overall effect.

Bathing:
Bathing together is an absolute must, preferably a bath with lots of lovely salts, oils or gel, pretty, scented soaps and soft, gentle sponges for lathering each other with. If a bath is impossible, shower together and for once, forget about conserving water—take your time, wash each other, touch lovingly.

Some Fun Extras
For some, stimulation adds to the total experience. If you have a partner who likes imaginative fun, be inventive. These need not break the romantic mood if they are used sparingly and prevented from becoming the main focus of the interaction. If you have successfully created all the other components, seeing a sexy video or reading aloud to each other from erotic literature or playing a game like Foreplay or Sexual Trivia will not seem intrusive. It’s important to keep the sense of fun and relaxation going as well, and when you get your clothes off, always keep your sense of humor on. There’s nothing less romantic than someone who takes themselves too seriously.

And, maybe the most creative thing you can do is never let limitations of time or money stop you having romance in your life. Romance isn’t something to save for a special day or month. It’s about pampering yourself and your partner, and isn’t that a worthwhile pursuit every day?

Congratulations to the Winners of the Cooking with Honey Recipe Contest!

It wasn't an easy decision to pick the winners from all the delicious and imaginative recipes submitted to the Cooking with Honey Recipe contest. We want to thank everyone who entered and extend a special thank you to our three judges: Judy Manzone, author of Family Honey: Five Generations of Beekeeping, Jonathan Korsen, General Manager at La Prima Food Group and Kyle Vermeulen, Corporate Executive Chef at La Prima Food Group.

We'll be posting the winning recipes and more information on our winners on our Facebook page soon. If we are not Facebook friends, we hope will be soon.

1st Place

Jessie Grearson
Honeyed-Raspberry Crostini Bites with Mascarpone and Pecans

2nd Place

Mellissa Clark
Honey Hummus

3rd Place

Holly Bauer
Sweet and Spicy Baked Shrimp with Angel Hair Pasta

Honorable Mention

Cathy Mealey
Poppyseed Salad Dressing

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In This Issue

• H. Michael Bastien Walks the Talk
• A Good Read: Forever Yours by Candy Caine
• Creative Romance Month
• Cooking with Honey Recipe Contest Winners
• In the News
• Calendar of Events
• Arrow Publications Submission Guidelines

A Good Read!

Forever Yours
By Candy Caine

When Jade Green met successful trial lawyer Charles Trotter, she found herself relaxing in the warmth of his smiles and his offbeat humor. Best of all, even though he was a blue-eyed hunk, she thought of him only as a great guy to hang with—no drama, no intimacy, no possibility of shattered dreams. And wonder of wonders, he seemed to feel exactly the same way!

When Charles Totter met Jade Green, he thought she was a walking wet dream. As he got to know her better, he found he also enjoyed her company and her quirky sense of humor. Now if he could only find a way to get her into his bed!

Excerpt:
Despite the fact Jade knew she should end things with Charles, it felt comfortable having breakfast with him. Worse, she could see making a habit of it. After they finished he insisted on helping her clean up. Standing next to him at the sink washing the dishes as he dried, she felt the heat rising from his body. His after-shave was intoxicating and going straight to her head. She wanted him to kiss her, but knew he wouldn't. Not after the last time. So she did the unthinkable and kissed him.

“This is for breakfast and two more pounds,” she said. “Thanks a lot."

He smacked his forehead and said, “I did it again, didn't I? I'm going to become a Pavlovian response. You’re going to equate me with food.”

“It's a distinct possibility,” Jade replied as she playfully punched his arm.

Charles gently took her face and held it between his large hands. She looked into his eyes as they sought hers. She had to be blind not to see the hope and longing there. “Are you going to run away this time?” he asked.

Available from MyRomanceStory.com, All Romance eBooks, Kobo Books and Amazon’s Kindle Store. Coming soon to Barnes and Nobles’ Nook Store and the iBookstore.

In the News

The Latest in Romance Fiction, Publishing and Books!

Reviews: A Selection of Works by Niambi Brown Davis
By Michelle Monkou, USA TODAY
Sometimes in the bright lights and busy hub of romance books released every month, a few rising talents are missed. Indulge me as I turn the spotlight on Niambi Brown Davis, an author who has been steadily writing and building a portfolio of endearing stories with heavy romantic elements. Read more

McDaniel Nets $100,000 from Romance Author Nora Roberts
News Briefs, Baltimore Sun
McDaniel College in Westminster (MD) announced this week that it has been awarded a $100,000 grant from the Nora Roberts Foundation to advance research and study of romance literature. Read more

Penny Jordan, Author of 200 Romance Novels, Dies at 65
By T. Rees Shapiro, Washington Post
Penny Jordan, a British romance novelist whose tales of beguiling women who fall breathlessly in love with handsome sheiks, Sicilian billionaires and Russian oligarchs sold more than 100 million copies worldwide, died Dec. 31, 2011, at a hospital in Cheshire, England. She was 65. Read more

Harlequin's Images of Love, Romance, and Passion
By Venessa Wong, Business Week
Perhaps no publisher taps into amorous fantasies as thoroughly as Harlequin, which over more than six decades has become synonymous with romance… As society’s views on gender and sex have evolved, so has Harlequin’s cover art, going from vaguely suggestive to unabashedly erotic over the decades. Read more

eBook Publishers Want Library Borrowing to Be Difficult
By Jared Newman, PCWorld
In an effort to make library eBook borrowing less convenient, Penguin Group has discontinued over-the-air library book downloads for Kindle users. Read More

Author Joins Fight Over eBook Rights
By Jeffrey A. Trachtenberg, Wall Street Journal
Author Jean Craighead George has asked to join forces with digital books publisher Open Road Integrated Media Inc. in its legal battle with HarperCollins Publishers Inc. over the digital rights to her 1972 children's novel Julie of the Wolves, Open Road said. Read more

Is Amazon Destroying or Democratizing Literature?
By Panos Mourdoukoutas, Forbes
After conquering online book sales and self-publishing, Amazon.com is now moving into regular book publishing, upping the content wars against Apple, Google and the like. Amazon's Book Publishing operation is going after big-name bestselling authors, competing head-to-head with traditional literary publishers. Is this move destroying or democratizing literature? Read more

Smashwords Passes Milestone
Publishers Weekly
Since it was officially launched four years ago at the Tools of Change conference by Mark Coker, Smashwords has distributed 100,000 eBooks, a milestone it passed earlier this week. According to the company, over 35,000 authors, small publishers and literary agents have used Smashwords to distribute their eBooks to e-tailers that include Barnes & Noble, the Apple iBookstore, Sony, Kobo and the Diesel eBook Store. Read more

Calendar of Events

Creative Writing Workshops, Conferences, Retreats and Festivals

April

Tucson Poetry Festival
Geronimo Plaza at Main Gate Square and University of Arizona Poetry Center
Tucson, Arizona
April 6-7, 2012

The Get Lit! Literary Festival
Eastern Washington University
Riverpoint Campus
Phase I Building
Spokane, WA
April 11-15, 2012

Arkansas Literary Festival
The Central Arkansas Library System's Main
Library campus and other locations
Little Rock, AR
April 12-15, 2012

Fearless Writing Retreat — Seabrook Island
St. Christopher Camp and Conference Center
Seabrook Island
Johns Island, South Carolina.
April 12-15, 2012

The Writers' Institute
Poetry, Screenplays, Novels and Nonfiction
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Madison, WI
April 12-15, 2012

10th Annual Montevallo Literary Festival
University of Montevallo
Montevallo, AL
April 13, 2012

Ocean View Poetry Getaway
Sea Isle City, NJ
April 13-15, 2012

Houston Indie Book Festival
Menil Lawn
Houston, TX
April 14, 2012

Philadelphia Book Festival
Philadelphia, PA
April 16-21, 2012

Las Vegas Writer's Conference
Sam's Town Hotel and Gambling Hall
Las Vegas, NV
April 19-21, 2012

Writing the Breakout Novel with Donald Maass
Hood River, OR
April 19-25, 2012

Bethesda Literary Festival
Novel, Journalism, Poetry and Nonfiction
Bethesda, MD
April 20-22, 2012

Massachusetts Poetry Festival
Salem, MA
April 20-22, 2012

Missouri Writers Guild Conference
Doubletree Hotel and Conference Center of St. Louis
16625 Swingley Ridge Road
Chesterfield, MO
April 20-22, 2012

Sarah Lawrence College Poetry Festival
Bronxville, NY
April 20-22, 2012

Kentucky Writers Conference
Carroll Knicely Conference Center
654 Campbell Lane
Bowling Green, KY
April 20, 2012

Southern Kentucky Book Festival
Carroll Knicely Conference Center
654 Campbell Lane
Bowling Green, KY
April 21, 2012

Conversations & Connections: Practical Advice on Writing
Johns Hopkins Advanced Writing Program
Washington, DC
April 21, 2012

American Society of Journalists and Authors (ASJA) Writers Conference
Roosevelt Hotel
New York, NY
April 26-28, 2012

15th Annual Alabama Writers Symposium
Alabama Southern Community College
Monroeville, AL
April 26-28, 2012

Newburyport Literary Festival
Firehouse Centre for the Arts
Newburyport, MA
April 27-28, 2012

Field's End Writers' Conference
Islandwood
Bainbridge Island, WA
April 28, 2012

North Carolina Writers' Network Conferences
University of North Carolina
Greensboro, NY
April 28, 2012

Write to Publish "Oolicon"
2012 Theme: Step into Genre
Portland State University
Portland, OR
April 28, 2012

Travel & Words
Travel Writing and Journalism
Fort Worden State Park Conference Center
Port Townsend, WA
April 29-30, 2012

PEN World Voices
New York, NY
April 30 - May 1, 2012

May

The Writers Institute - Florida Center for the Literary Arts
Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry and Plot
Wolfson Campus of Miami Dade College
Miami, FL
May 2-5, 2012

Oklahoma Writers Federation (OWFI) Conference
Embassy Suites Hotel
1815 S. Meridian
Oklahoma City, OK
May 3-5, 2012

Poetry at Round Top
Round Top, TX
May 4-6, 2012

Tallahassee Festival of Books & Writers Conference
Holiday Inn and Monroe St.
Conference Center
Tallahassee, FL
May 4-6, 2012

Women's Literary Festival
Fess Parker's Doubletree Resort
Santa Barbara, CA
May 5, 2012

Raleigh Review Writer's House
Poetry, Fiction and Memoir
Raleigh NC
May 5-6, 2012

Ohio University's Spring Literary Festival
Poetry, Fiction and Nonfiction.
Ohio University
Athens, OH
May 9-11, 2012

Writing the Midwest: A Symposium of Scholars and Writers
Michigan State University Union
East Lansing, MI
May 10-12, 2012

The Iowa Writers' Workshop Summer Program
Poetry and Fiction
University of Iowa
Iowa City, IA
Application deadline: March 1, 2012
May 14 - June 1, 2012

National Latino Writers Conference
National Hispanic Cultural Center Campus
1701 4th Street Southwest  
Albuquerque, NM
May 16-19, 2012

New England Young Writers' Conference
Bread Loaf
Middlebury College
Middlebury, VT
May 17-20, 2012

Patchwork Farm Retreat near Austin
Belton, TX
May 17-20, 2012

Pennwriters Conference
Eden Resorts
Lancaster, PA
May 18-20, 2012

River Teeth Nonfiction Conference
Ashland University
Ashland, OH
Priority deadline: April 1, 2012 / Registration deadline: May 4, 2012
May 18-20, 2012

15th Annual Northern Arizona Book Festival
Coconino Center for the Arts
Flagstaff, AZ
May 19, 2012

Kentucky Women's Book Festival
Ekstrom Library
Belknap Campus
University of Louisville
Louisville, KY
May 19, 2012

DFW Writers' Conference
Hurst Conference Center
1601 Campus Drive
Hurst, TX
May 19-20, 2012

Backspace Writers Conference
New York, NY
May 24-26, 2012

Writers in New York
Poetry and Fiction
Lillian Vernon Creative Writers House
New York University
May 29 - June 21, 2012

Bear River Writers' Conference
Camp Michigania
3006 Camp Sherwood Rd
Boyne City, MI
May 31 - June 4, 2012

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